Sex, or not?

by brown eyes sp Tue Jun 22, 2010 1:05 pm

It's pretty clear that most major modern religions view sex before marriage as a serious no-no (at least for women), but I was curious to know what your faith says about other aspects of sexual behavior like oral sex, mutual masturbation, etc.? What behaviors do you think "count" as sex? Why?

by melissa052 Tue Jun 22, 2010 2:16 pm

I'm not religious but personally speaking, I think it's perfectly fine to do it before marriage if you're in a committed relationship and not misusing sex ('misusing' might not be the word I'm looking for...)
I honestly think we should adapt the Easterners mind when it comes to sex, it should NOT be viewed as taboo but just something that's personal and intimate....

by brown eyes sp Tue Jun 22, 2010 2:30 pm

I tend to ascribe to pretty much the same thing. I like the mindset that sex is special and private, but not private in a bad way. Have you ever noticed the Western tendency to label most private things as taboo or bad to talk about?

by melissa052 Tue Jun 22, 2010 2:46 pm

Exactly! I mean if I had sex, it shouldn't be anyone's business but mine and the guy I had it with, so why SHOULD anyone else care? It's not harming them in any way and not me either, assuming it's consensual...
I have noticed that... I wonder why?

by scifidawn Tue Jun 22, 2010 4:13 pm

Catholic viewpoint on sex: Sex is a gift given by God for marred couples for love and procreation. It is a gift of self to each other and a sacred thing. That is why sex, willy nilly with any one who is not the spouse is not encouraged. Marriage, in the Catholic faith, is a mirror of the community that is the Trinity, and thus the act of sex is a sacred and holy act for marriage.

Masturbation, is also not encouraged, since it is a selfish act, and not part of the joining and giving of love, which is what sex is for. Masturbation, makes this precious gift just the manipulation of things, rather of giving of self to the spouse.

by Hannah_Banana222 Tue Jun 22, 2010 10:10 pm

As far as I know, the Bible doesn't say anything about the... alternatives. Please correct me, anyone, if I'm wrong, but I think it's just whatever you feel comfortable with. I think oral sex before marriage is wrong, but others may not. I've been told by pastors and teachers at my Christian school that all that stuff is still sex and it's all sinful and blah blah blah. I don't agree. I don't thing masturbation is necessarily wrong. The Bible says that if you're "burning in a passionate lust" (AKA horny), you should get married. But what if you haven't found the right person to be with? I say, go ahead and take care of yourself.

As far as what "counts," I would say only real intercourse. If you masturbate, give/get oral, have anal, or whatever, you can still be a virgin technically. Doesn't mean it's okay to just be like, "I'm saving myself for marriage, but I'll give you a handjob." I just wouldn't call it sex.

by melissa052 Tue Jun 22, 2010 11:01 pm

Hannah_Banana222 wrote:As far as I know, the Bible doesn't say anything about the... alternatives. Please correct me, anyone, if I'm wrong, but I think it's just whatever you feel comfortable with. I think oral sex before marriage is wrong, but others may not. I've been told by pastors and teachers at my Christian school that all that stuff is still sex and it's all sinful and blah blah blah. I don't agree. I don't thing masturbation is necessarily wrong. The Bible says that if you're "burning in a passionate lust" (AKA horny), you should get married. But what if you haven't found the right person to be with? I say, go ahead and take care of yourself.

As far as what "counts," I would say only real intercourse. If you masturbate, give/get oral, have anal, or whatever, you can still be a virgin technically. Doesn't mean it's okay to just be like, "I'm saving myself for marriage, but I'll give you a handjob." I just wouldn't call it sex.

I just have to say that I love how even though you're religious you don't follow the bible as someone is sitting with you with a gun to your head saying they'll pull the trigger if you so much as dare to disagree!

by Hannah_Banana222 Tue Jun 22, 2010 11:31 pm

melissa052 wrote:
Hannah_Banana222 wrote:As far as I know, the Bible doesn't say anything about the... alternatives. Please correct me, anyone, if I'm wrong, but I think it's just whatever you feel comfortable with. I think oral sex before marriage is wrong, but others may not. I've been told by pastors and teachers at my Christian school that all that stuff is still sex and it's all sinful and blah blah blah. I don't agree. I don't thing masturbation is necessarily wrong. The Bible says that if you're "burning in a passionate lust" (AKA horny), you should get married. But what if you haven't found the right person to be with? I say, go ahead and take care of yourself.

As far as what "counts," I would say only real intercourse. If you masturbate, give/get oral, have anal, or whatever, you can still be a virgin technically. Doesn't mean it's okay to just be like, "I'm saving myself for marriage, but I'll give you a handjob." I just wouldn't call it sex.

I just have to say that I love how even though you're religious you don't follow the bible as someone is sitting with you with a gun to your head saying they'll pull the trigger if you so much as dare to disagree!

What? I follow the Bible pretty literally. It's the oober-conservative interpreters I don't agree with. That's my main problem with the Catholic church. No offense to my Catholic friends, but it's just too legalistic. So many rules that aren't even biblical. Only 3 of the 7 sacraments are even mentioned in scripture. Humans just made up the rest. I prefer to just answer to God.
Like I said, I don't think the Bible mentions much about other forms of sexual contact. I think religious figures just tell people who are too lazy to read it what they want us to believe.

by Unit7 Tue Jun 22, 2010 11:46 pm

As long as its between two... er well more... consenting people. I really don't think its any of mine or anyone elses buisness who sleeps with who or does what together.

I don't care if you are in BDSM or have a kink for balloons. Thats your business what you do behind closed doors. I also don't view anything wrong with any of that(though I am personaly disturbed by scat fetish. Because seriously... wtf?)

Also Brown Eyes was talking about Mutual Masturbation. Which is different then well Solo Masturbation. There is a surprisingly big difference between the two. I believe its also called Outercourse.

by scifidawn Wed Jun 23, 2010 12:03 am

Hannah_Banana222 wrote:
melissa052 wrote:
Hannah_Banana222 wrote:As far as I know, the Bible doesn't say anything about the... alternatives. Please correct me, anyone, if I'm wrong, but I think it's just whatever you feel comfortable with. I think oral sex before marriage is wrong, but others may not. I've been told by pastors and teachers at my Christian school that all that stuff is still sex and it's all sinful and blah blah blah. I don't agree. I don't thing masturbation is necessarily wrong. The Bible says that if you're "burning in a passionate lust" (AKA horny), you should get married. But what if you haven't found the right person to be with? I say, go ahead and take care of yourself.

As far as what "counts," I would say only real intercourse. If you masturbate, give/get oral, have anal, or whatever, you can still be a virgin technically. Doesn't mean it's okay to just be like, "I'm saving myself for marriage, but I'll give you a handjob." I just wouldn't call it sex.

I just have to say that I love how even though you're religious you don't follow the bible as someone is sitting with you with a gun to your head saying they'll pull the trigger if you so much as dare to disagree!

What? I follow the Bible pretty literally. It's the oober-conservative interpreters I don't agree with. That's my main problem with the Catholic church. No offense to my Catholic friends, but it's just too legalistic. So many rules that aren't even biblical. Only 3 of the 7 sacraments are even mentioned in scripture. Humans just made up the rest. I prefer to just answer to God.
Like I said, I don't think the Bible mentions much about other forms of sexual contact. I think religious figures just tell people who are too lazy to read it what they want us to believe.

Well Catholics have many things that were passed down. You see, the bible was not written immediately after Jesus' death. Even in the bible it says not all things were written in it. will try to find where for you.

We have info that was passed down since Peter. So, we have the bible and oral tradition that was handed down.

As for the question is oral sex etc., really sex. Well it involves manipulation of the sexual organs, so yes it is sex.

by Rex Wed Jun 23, 2010 1:57 am

Hmmm I don't actually know. Our church around here is not like in the USA. They don't really try to shove down their values down peoples throats. I am guessing it's the same as most Christianity aka it's preferred to wait till marriage. Although I do remember talking to this priest who told me that unlike the Catholics the priest around have can't become actual priests until they are married and have written permission from their wives. Which I think is rather cool. I would hate to think that my church can become something like the Catholics. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if the number of pedophiles in there is already higher then the number of normal people

by Courtnut Mon Jun 28, 2010 9:02 pm

But Catholics also believe that babies go to hell because they weren't baptized. Or something like that.
I believe that if you are doing it with someone you care deeply about, and not whoring yourself around. There is a difference. Most people think they are ready, when in fact they are not.
That's why I'm not religious, too many rules. I personally think it would be awkward to never see a naked body until your wedding night. You'll be like ewww, that's what it looks like?!?! Smile

If you are in love, why have a boring relationship? It only brings you closer. Then again, this is coming from someone who used to sleep with everybody never once liking it until for some reason I met my husband and we did it a few hours after we met. But I felt something different. I don't know how to explain it

by AlwaysChelsea Fri Jul 09, 2010 8:41 pm

I think people should wait till after marriage to have sex.. even though I didn't make that decision, I think it's smart.

by GeminiBaby Tue Jul 13, 2010 3:11 pm

My personal opinion is that if you are in a commited relationship then it is okay. But if the couple are not trying to have a baby then they should both be using protection. If you have sex to get back at somebody, I find that to be wrong.

by -aNNabeLLe- Wed Jul 14, 2010 8:29 am

Well I'm pretty sure that the Catholic faith doesn't think any form of sex should be had until marriage. I personally don't see what the big deal is, because it's a way to show your strong feelings for someone, and if you plan on being with them then it's fine.

by Soap Tue Mar 29, 2011 6:11 pm

by AshleyMC Wed Mar 30, 2011 12:21 pm

Well I always feel that it's no one else's business whether or not you have sex before marriage. Who am I to tell other people that it's wrong? It's your body, do what you please. If you love your significant other and you want to share that special bond with them, then go right ahead. I have obviously had sex before marriage since I have had two kids before marriage. I wouldn't change that for anything. In my opinion, it's not that big of a deal.

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