I'm pooping.

I am.

When I still had my iPod (R.I.P.), I would always bring it into the bathroom with me. Pretty sure everyone does that. Everyone with a smartphone or some other mobile internet device can relate. When you're just gonna be sitting for an hour with your pants around your ankles, you need entertainment, amirite?

But now my only internet-capable device is something I can't just shove in my back pocket. And yet, I always bring my laptop with me to poop. Then when I leave the bathroom, I feel like I have to sneak it out (that's not gonna be a problem right now, as it's 1am, and no one is awake but me). Like people are judging me. "Why did she bring a computer into the bathroom? Is she watching porn?" Basically what I think people are thinking. No. I'm just checking my email and various forums and such. I just don't like to be bored. So rather than risk awkward questions, I make it even more awkward by suspiciously darting to my room afterwards. That way, there's less of a chance that people will see that I have my laptop. If that's unavoidable, I try to hide it, which is even more awkward. If I know someone's in the hallway, I'll try to shove it up my shirt or something.

If you're wondering, yes, I am very bored right now. La la la la la.

But seriously, can anyone relate to this? Or am I just the weirdo who brings her computer to take a shit?

A little to much info if you ask me.

However. I do find it funny that the bathroom newspaper/magazine has been replaced with technology. I must admit I did not see that coming.

This is what happens in summer. I have so much free time that I feel like I've consumed all my daily internetz, so I have to produce my own.

We used to keep a jokebook on the back of the toilet. No need any more. Hahahah!!

Actually... Now that I think about it, I believe I took the offended challenge in the bathroom, so it's safe to say I've seen my fair share of pornographic images while wearing no pants.

I netflix on the toilet at night. I wake up to pee like a thousand times, so... I'd probably get more rest if I didn't turn one short pee into an entire episode of The X-files, but it's worth it.

As for taking a shit. It literally takes me a few seconds, so during the day I never bring anything with me. When I was little I never understood why people were so serious about pooping, and why they would spend so long in the bathroom. I guess I'm just lucky like that.

This is seriously cracking me up. Thanks guys lol

Hahahah ohh Hannah.

No, I can't say I relate. I'm on and off the toilet for less than 2 minutes no matter what I'm doing. My boyfriend doesn't even think I poop at all haha

DO YOU PEOPLE EAT NOTHING BUT BRAN MUFFINS?!

Seriously, though. In general, I poop rather quickly. At work, I'll say, "Hey, I have to poop. Can you cover for me?" and be back in 2 minutes. Everyone is like, "Sheesh, you poop fast." But sometimes, you know, that just doesn't happen. Especially at home. When there's no rush to get back to doing something, I take my sweet time. And at my house, you need all the bathroom time you can get. That's the only room where you know no one is gonna barge right in and make you do stuff (oh, the joys of living with a 15-month-old!).

Incidentally, I'm pooping right now. Heheheh. Actually, I was done actively pooping about 10 minutes ago. Alas, here I sit. I'm comfortable here. Who likes wearing pants? Pfft!!

"If ya gotta push, it ain't ready."

Hahah I love my family.

LOL This thread is not awkward at all.

Every forum needs a thread about pooping.

xChorusOfAngelsx wrote:"If ya gotta push, it ain't ready."

Hahah I love my family.

My, that's horrible advice. Seems wise, but if your poop is "ready," or "crowning" as my family calls it, you don't have much time. What if you only have one bathroom? If you wait till you have to poop NOW, someone could be in there. Poopy underwear. Not cool.

ayan wrote:LOL This thread is not awkward at all.

No, of course not. This is normal conversation. At least to me it is... Hehehehe.

xChorusOfAngelsx wrote:Every forum needs a thread about pooping.

I second this!

Hannah_Banana222 wrote:

xChorusOfAngelsx wrote:"If ya gotta push, it ain't ready."

Hahah I love my family.

My, that's horrible advice. Seems wise, but if your poop is "ready," or "crowning" as my family calls it, you don't have much time. What if you only have one bathroom? If you wait till you have to poop NOW, someone could be in there. Poopy underwear. Not cool.

Well I suppose if there's a risk of the bathroom being occupied when you have to go, it's wise to grab it before there's a turtle head poking out. However, I've only lived with one person at a time for the last 15 years; bathroom is mine pretty much whenever I want it.

I don't know how your thought process decided to compare turtles to poop, but it brings a whole new meaning to "I like turtles" (which I say quite often).

*Scottish accent* "First things first, where's your shitter? I've got a turtle head pokin' out. I no kiddin', I've got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey!" -Fat Bastard (Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me)

I... I'm ashamed of myself. I freaking love Fat Bastard. HOW DID I NOT KNOW WHAT THIS WAS FROM?

.....Wow for me going for number two is a fairly uneventful experience. I never bring anything inside. Although I do follow the Turk, J.D example of removing my pants. Way way better

I take my phone into the bathroom with me all the time. I play back Words with Friends and Draw Something while I'm doing my business. Or I'm on Facebook or something.