Help me Chorus you are my only hope

So if I remember right you were the girl to ask when it came to cars. See I have this problem. my neighbor today suddenly decided that the sight of cables is offending to him and without telling anybody he cut them all. Internet,cable tv everything in the entire block. The entire afternoon there was an army of repairmen trying to fix the damage . Now as you can imagine this made a lot of people angry. Including me. Now I will of course do the usual nasty messing stuff with him but this is a long and slow process that will last months. And I feel like doing something now. Making a statement.

And I decided to do this with his car. Now I am not very experienced with cars and my usual methods like you know the old sugar in the gas tank, stuffing the exhaust and...well other stuff well that's kinda a bit too much since while the guy is an utter asshole his wife is nice so I don't want to go too far.

So do you have some suggestion on how I can mess up his car in a nasty but relatively harmless way? I mean there is of course the usual keying but do you have something else? Something maybe can't be washed off, something that smells bad and so on

If this dude is a car person, I wouldn't recommend fucking with his car. If it was mine, I'd chop off your balls.

With that said, if vandalism is an option, shaving cream will discolor the paint. Eggs screw up the clear coat. If you want the stinky approach, hide something gross under the seat. Make sure it's able to stay moist; it allows bacteria to grow nicely. Broccoli cheese anything is quite unpleasant when it starts to rot. You could also spray something gross into the vents, the smell will blow into the car every time they use the air conditioner/fan/heat.

Does he leave it unlocked? There are a lot of things you can do under the hood to make it not run that are inexpensive to fix, just frustrating when you're in a hurry. Like unhooking the battery; it's so simple that he may not think to look for it. Or you could just turn his lights on so it goes dead. Steal a spark plug. Little things like that.

Is this douche going to get in trouble for cutting the lines? If you know for sure he did it, turn him in. I'm sure it wasn't cheap having to replace them, he should have to pay for the equipment and labor.

Nice. Thanks a lot. I am going to try these

Yup. He actually bragged about it and gave us all a long rant not just all the people from the block but the technicians as well about how right he was to cut the lines(yeah he is that kind of a douche). I really hope he gets in to trouble

What happened with this?

Eh nothing First he went to a vacation then I went to a vacation and my bloodlust kinda died down. I just look at him hostility when we pass each other nowadays and try to implant subconscious commands in his dog to bite him

Boooo that's no funnnn

Yeah I guess. Oh well I will probably move out in an about an year. Before I move I will make sure to turn his life in a living hell