Re: ♥The Mom Thread♥

[Courtnut]

And another thought came to mind, people telling me how long it took certain people. In case you haven't noticed, I'm extremely impatient
And my mother-in-law is acting like it's a contest on 'who can have the most miscarriages before they have their first child' I'm sorry, but I don't feel like it's a contest. She's always like "oh well Sheila had 6 miscarriages before she had her first and that's more then you!"

[MrsJazz]

Why would someone, esp a MIL do and say something like that? It's certainly not a contest. I think if she kept it up, as much as I love my MIL, I'd say something.

Adopting is very expensive. And sometimes it can take years. My aunt and uncle tried, invested thousands. After 3 years, they still hadn't gotten a child. I felt horrible for them. They had two of their own after about 10 years of trying. But since she was so much older for their second, there were a lot of issues.

[Courtnut]

And to make it worse my mother-in-law is extremely fertile. She got pregnant twice on birth control using a condom. And then 2 other times on purpose and happened the first and second month trying. And she has never had a miscarriage, but somehow she makes me feel horrible about having miscarriages. Like I'm not 'womanly'
I know adopting is expensive, I don't think it should cost as much as it does. It keeps a lot of kids homeless that otherwise wouldn't be.
My husbands aunt adopted their first kid 4 years ago and his grandma had to take a reverse mortgage (I think that's what its called) out on her house in order for her to get the child. And this last December, she adopted another child and their grandma had to sell part of her land, and take out a huge bank loan. And his aunt still wants another child, but her mom is just drained out.

[x_mia_x]

Hello Courtnut. I just thought I would introduce myself. My name is Mia. I hope you enjoy it here.

[Courtnut]

Hello, Mia Thanks.

[x_mia_x]

Hello, Mia Thanks.

You're so very welcome.

[Courtnut]

Haha I feel like I am making some enemies here. . .Oopsies.

How old are you?

[x_mia_x]

We butt heads sometimes. We can usually get over it though.
I'm 24. How old are you?

[Courtnut]

I am 20. I feel like I'm older then that though haha
I hope so. No one has the same views as me on anything haha.

[x_mia_x]

So are you trying for a little one?

[Courtnut]

Yes. I started trying after I got pregnant by accident. And me and my husband are ready, so why not. A lot of people judge me by it, but oh well. I've parented kids enough to know some of what will come

[Courtnut]

I have a question. It might sound weird.
Okay, so my last name is McBride, and there hasn't been a boy born in the family since 1957. And everyone had girls, and they are all done having kids. They do have a grandson, but his last name is Coy.. The generations of my last name is basically done. I haven't legally changed my name yet.
So I was wondering, would it be totally messed up if I had my childrens last name be my name, instead of my husbands? His side basically had all boys, and their name will go on forever probably...
That sounds kind of messed up, but yeah..

[MrsJazz]

My cousins had their boys take on both names. Her maiden name and her hubs last name. So it was (just an example Micheal Allen Hampton-Conners.

Giving both is a compromise. Both names get passed down.

[Unit7]

I never really understood why it matters whether or not a name is passed down. What the big deal is.

Because to me a name is just a name. The only thing that matters are the deeds and actions.

If I were the last male to carry my last name(I don't know my fathers side... like at all so I dunno if they have any boys) then... well that doesn't bother me in the least.

[MrsJazz]

I guess I never worried about it. I guess because I know my brother will carry on my maiden name as will his sons. Well, if they have sons.

[Courtnut]

That's what I mean. For some reason it's weird to think my last name is done after this generation. I don't know why it matters to me, it just does.. I would like to be the one to keep it going.
I have thought about hyphenating the last names. It would be McBride-Milner. But they will still only really end up using Milner. There is a lot of Milners, but no McBride's. So I didn't know if it would be weird to do that. If I hyphenated the name I am wondering if they can use McBride more then Milner. And when they get married, his wife's name be McBride... I don't really know what to do about it. His family would never let me hyphenate the name

[MrsJazz]

That's what I mean. For some reason it's weird to think my last name is done after this generation. I don't know why it matters to me, it just does.. I would like to be the one to keep it going.
I have thought about hyphenating the last names. It would be McBride-Milner. But they will still only really end up using Milner. There is a lot of Milners, but no McBride's. So I didn't know if it would be weird to do that. If I hyphenated the name I am wondering if they can use McBride more then Milner. And when they get married, his wife's name be McBride... I don't really know what to do about it. His family would never let me hyphenate the name

My brother's fiance's last name is McBride.

Well, it's not up to his family. It would be up to you and your husband. Adam's family didn't want Brylee to have a middle name because none of them have middle names. I flat out told them it was up to Adam and I, that they had no say. You have to do what you and your husband want.

[Courtnut]

Well, the thing with his family is if they don't get their way they never forgive you for it. And they hold grudges like no other. It's stupid.

[Unit7]

Just because you are related to them doesn't make them family.

Family is what you make of it, not what you are born into it.

Blood is just blood.

[Courtnut]

True. It's hard to go through life with in-laws that hate you though! But I guess it's not as bad as it could be. They are just really judgemental, and don't forget ANYTHING.
Unit, how do you spell judgemental it's telling me I am spelling it wrong.

[Unit7]

Theres no E after G

[Courtnut]

Oh yeah! I learned that before but somehow I forgot. Okay, got it. Judgmental. I'm still gonna spell it wrong all the time haha

[MrsJazz]

Well, the thing with his family is if they don't get their way they never forgive you for it. And they hold grudges like no other. It's stupid.

Neither does Adam's family. Thing is, I don't care. She is mine and Adam's child, we will name her as we please, raise her as we please. In the end, she's still their grandchild. If they care less for her because of a name then they don't deserve to have her in their lives. Plain and simple.

[Courtnut]

I totally agree
Oh, and his mother actually said to me that "I know you think that the day your baby is born is about you and him, it's not. It's about us, the family."
Because I didn't want her to be in the room when the baby was born. We have been waiting for this for a long time, and I want it to just be me and my husband.

[MrsJazz]

I kicked people out. Told the charge nurse not to let anyone but Adam in. It was our time. His family got a ted upset they couldn't be in delivery, but oh well, they came a week later. I went all natural and I wanted that time to be just Adam and I. People have to learn to respect your wishes. I won't back down with how I feel about things, after a while, people get it and get over it. They all love her just the same.

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